Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Beyond the horizons

"So this is where it begins", Ray told himself. He had the clairvoyance that it would impede the flow at a certain juncture. It had become so difficult to abstain from the truth. Still in its impalpable manifestation, it could make some sense for the second time. The first time was when he had around ten years of time during which had undergone certain catastrophic atrophy under inadvertent whims.

Pressure had an adverse effect on him, when thought purely on emotional grounds otherwise he usually did not succumb to. It was God-gifted luck that sometimes gave the impulse to defeat a mounting alteration on his composure. Countless thoughts seem to hover around this predicament. An impasse had to be avoided. It was worthwhile in making the efforts necessary to rise to the occasion without thinking what failure later might make you bereft of.

And it seemed diabolical again, for God most certainly doesn't play dice. But this necessitated a victory as they say, 'sometimes winning is everything'. The devil smiled upon the lesser evil. His thoughts didn't belie reality. Things were placed at an imperative brim to foretell his wish. Wishes may be sometimes unreasonable but he thought otherwise almost instantly. If it was a younger Ray then everything should be perfect and that too perfectly perfect. But with time these implacable whims had drifted away and a ray of common-sense had surged in. If every thought was emotive and the actions following them took complete credence in them, then there was lesser chance of enlightenment. Finally, he had to build faith in his intricate senses and intuition.

Time had progressively inculcated patience in him. He knew some things are perhaps worth a wait. The gory dreams and nightmares had instilled some virtues which had not been perhaps bequeathed to him as a birthright. Aware of the fact that clouds could obscure the moon too soon, he craved for his wishes and started to categorically deliberate on each one of them. To him these wishes were human, but there were still impediments which shouldn't have been there. And these were human too. "May be I am a devil incarnate", he muttered to himself.

He had mustered a definite level of clarity on right and wrong by this time. He had a life to live for and he would heed to only moral reasons, not to equivocating environmental whims. On a personal level, he had wished these things not to exist at the first place, but then he would have been bereft of some greater experiences too. Tranquility was what he was searching for, may be this is what we all humans search it for a lifetimes.

Some unusual moments in life could turn out to be most decisive after all. There was such a compulsive flash and he could perceive the manifestation beyond impervious walls of imagination. The time wasn't quite right this time in a line contradiction to his thoughts. Insuperable circumstances could impel the situation in foreseeable future. There are times in life when one is forced to take steps which one abhors most, but later they turn out to be the perfect blends to make a journey smooth.

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