'Let's get it started'.. Perhaps this phrase has qualified enough to be termed as a cliche. But, let it be some other time. It's the overwhelming confusion, Ray is facing this time. The typical may be, may be not situation.
Drifting in darkness, may be it was a natural consequence of his unconscious choice which made him think of what needs to be done. Some one had told him earlier, "Listen kid, If you want to win in the future you need to be prepared to lose now." He had made the naive mistake of taking it too literally, when it had de facto a subtle inner message. You need to fight the battle first. If you lose it at first, then awaken your spirits, exorcise the demons within and fight it ab initio. It sometimes necessitates to lose a battle to win a war.
But what is the proverbial war! It is the war within self , the war of an individual in an apparently eternal quest for a segregated identity to be known as 'Ray'. To be proclaimed in life for the very reason he exists for. Does it have a role to play with the manifestation of this singular life or it is eternity he is thinking about. Never having given even a speck of thought on what he really wants to do, at twenty-something he decides to take up this matter. Didn't he give a thought to it when it mattered less or was he engulfed by this life to such an extent that he didn't really look into it as a matter of concern. Better be late than never, he says to himself. All he finds is blinding darkness within. Can it be enlightened by the flames upon which he has utter faith.
Flames! Yeah, flames. Those guiding angels which show the path when we are lost, those which make us happy at times of sheer despair and which incessantly burn within us to give us our purpose sooner or later. Ah! the mind of a man can just dart off to the subject least apropos at that time. "Oh Ray! why do you ever discount relationships as a tool to kill boredom", he quietly introspects himself. Introverted, intuitive, thinking and perceiving was he as termed by others. Some thoughts just came in and out of his mind akin to clouds which make the cuddled sky. Immature was the term used for him by his closest friends. But, sometimes irrationally held truths are more harmful than reasoned errors.
Relationships may be the greatest strength at some point in the time-line unless they are shattered when they prove to be the greatest weakness. These memories come as a bane to the exigency of the situation. Thoughts needed to be diverted to a single route without blood streaming into the veins and its subordinates. Let's now try eliminating the impossible so that whatever remains may point to the truth. It might be pointless at times, but for that very cause, we are still humans. Looking askance to the mirror on the right, he made a investigating look at the distant flustered image, which wavered with the flames.
So back to flames and their subtle vibrations, singing and ringing into the ears about matter unheard for a long long time. Flames, yes it is the very self which burns inside the conscious and the unconscious reminding us of our existence as a whole. But only when you make allegiance to them, they help you discover. Else, these sounds quickly go unheard in the vast depths of time. It is the credence in self which is at stake and it's not akin to some self-obsessed theory which emerges when self-esteem is on the run.
Ray has to live his dreams but has he got any? Oh yes, they have always been sky high. It was time to ponder upon these dreams with the an intensity which might invigorate the very purpose of this life. And the quintessential requirement is to do a logical deduction on each of the stairways to them. He took his stand, the purpose could only be defeated by reason. Is it such that everything in life is logical or has logical explanations? No, perhaps they are understood as humane.
His thoughts made him think of the eternally diabolical paradox. It always made his mind to ponder whether the thought process always foreshadows some baleful instance or not. Clairvoyance for despair made a comical sense that time.Thoughts and countless thoughts streaming through the fluted architecture of the mind had been clouding his judgement. But this time, clarity was back, his mind was more focussed and a seeming vexation was receding away in the form of gentle waves.
Time had steadily evolved to enforce a definitive decision. It was Ray's and it was only for himself. It was time to seek vengeance for the lost. The elusive suddenly became the most obvious. Like still water, clarity fought back with an audacious elegance. The voice of the flames appeared nascent and forthright, acclaiming all his virtues from within. Those which never condemn for the so called blasphemy. They heed to only higher moral reason.
Ray had already made his decision. "It is time", he quietly said to himself. Self-esteem slowly crawled up to his craving and with his credence restored, it seemed to be another belle epoch. This was his last-stand with an unshakable resolve. The radiant sun had finally dazzled.
Drifting in darkness, may be it was a natural consequence of his unconscious choice which made him think of what needs to be done. Some one had told him earlier, "Listen kid, If you want to win in the future you need to be prepared to lose now." He had made the naive mistake of taking it too literally, when it had de facto a subtle inner message. You need to fight the battle first. If you lose it at first, then awaken your spirits, exorcise the demons within and fight it ab initio. It sometimes necessitates to lose a battle to win a war.
But what is the proverbial war! It is the war within self , the war of an individual in an apparently eternal quest for a segregated identity to be known as 'Ray'. To be proclaimed in life for the very reason he exists for. Does it have a role to play with the manifestation of this singular life or it is eternity he is thinking about. Never having given even a speck of thought on what he really wants to do, at twenty-something he decides to take up this matter. Didn't he give a thought to it when it mattered less or was he engulfed by this life to such an extent that he didn't really look into it as a matter of concern. Better be late than never, he says to himself. All he finds is blinding darkness within. Can it be enlightened by the flames upon which he has utter faith.
Flames! Yeah, flames. Those guiding angels which show the path when we are lost, those which make us happy at times of sheer despair and which incessantly burn within us to give us our purpose sooner or later. Ah! the mind of a man can just dart off to the subject least apropos at that time. "Oh Ray! why do you ever discount relationships as a tool to kill boredom", he quietly introspects himself. Introverted, intuitive, thinking and perceiving was he as termed by others. Some thoughts just came in and out of his mind akin to clouds which make the cuddled sky. Immature was the term used for him by his closest friends. But, sometimes irrationally held truths are more harmful than reasoned errors.
Relationships may be the greatest strength at some point in the time-line unless they are shattered when they prove to be the greatest weakness. These memories come as a bane to the exigency of the situation. Thoughts needed to be diverted to a single route without blood streaming into the veins and its subordinates. Let's now try eliminating the impossible so that whatever remains may point to the truth. It might be pointless at times, but for that very cause, we are still humans. Looking askance to the mirror on the right, he made a investigating look at the distant flustered image, which wavered with the flames.
So back to flames and their subtle vibrations, singing and ringing into the ears about matter unheard for a long long time. Flames, yes it is the very self which burns inside the conscious and the unconscious reminding us of our existence as a whole. But only when you make allegiance to them, they help you discover. Else, these sounds quickly go unheard in the vast depths of time. It is the credence in self which is at stake and it's not akin to some self-obsessed theory which emerges when self-esteem is on the run.
Ray has to live his dreams but has he got any? Oh yes, they have always been sky high. It was time to ponder upon these dreams with the an intensity which might invigorate the very purpose of this life. And the quintessential requirement is to do a logical deduction on each of the stairways to them. He took his stand, the purpose could only be defeated by reason. Is it such that everything in life is logical or has logical explanations? No, perhaps they are understood as humane.
His thoughts made him think of the eternally diabolical paradox. It always made his mind to ponder whether the thought process always foreshadows some baleful instance or not. Clairvoyance for despair made a comical sense that time.Thoughts and countless thoughts streaming through the fluted architecture of the mind had been clouding his judgement. But this time, clarity was back, his mind was more focussed and a seeming vexation was receding away in the form of gentle waves.
Time had steadily evolved to enforce a definitive decision. It was Ray's and it was only for himself. It was time to seek vengeance for the lost. The elusive suddenly became the most obvious. Like still water, clarity fought back with an audacious elegance. The voice of the flames appeared nascent and forthright, acclaiming all his virtues from within. Those which never condemn for the so called blasphemy. They heed to only higher moral reason.
Ray had already made his decision. "It is time", he quietly said to himself. Self-esteem slowly crawled up to his craving and with his credence restored, it seemed to be another belle epoch. This was his last-stand with an unshakable resolve. The radiant sun had finally dazzled.
I have read it once, and it is Real good. But let me read it couple of times more........ :)
ReplyDeleteJust by saying that the piece is good enough to prod in hidden corners of mind would do it justice; something that the one who has experienced and one who empathizes(which I do :)) would fully understand despite of the muted importance of my view above. But why have u titled it "Life on a Fast lane"? As far as i could comprehend, its an account more do with changing lanes. From a content(?), laid-back driving in the side lane, a sudden spark builds up steady 'flames' initiating you to a greater challenge in the fast lane. I may be wrong of course :)
ReplyDeletePerhaps, was in a kind of ambivalence, being pervaded both with thoughtfulness and thoughtlessness alike.
ReplyDeleteEmpathy is a profound gift for me but as I concluded, muted anonymity couldn't be! :)
Regarding the title, I always wanted to present a third person's view but a thoroughly biased one. Blemishes-I take but I again forgive myself.
I hope, you will kind of like this : http://iwonder-thecartographer.blogspot.com/2008/09/propitiation.html
then this could be somewhat you expected. See, it could be raining somewhat heavily in the capital, but someplace else it's not :P
Coz the soul likes to remain unfettered from the chains of identity and chooses not to be judged by 'its' erratic and impulsive behavior. In the wild, humans and animals equally have a tendency to be in their element. I definitely dont want to be circus-trained (read constrained by the mannerisms and social conventions and thus be judged according to them) in my behavior, certainly not with something i like (read bugging people) :).
ReplyDelete